This word respect, I hate it. God do I hate it. It has so many different meanings, so many different ways it can be used. It sounds stuffy…formal…old…timeless. But it is honestly is the only word that truly embodies its meaning.
The dictionary says that Respect has two definitions:
- a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
- due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others.
Respect is something that everyone should have for each other’s experiences. I don’t think this is a question or a discussion. Whether you agree with someone or not. If your IQ is off their charts and they are mentally deficient. Every human has their own experience of life and that knowledge, weather they are eight or eighty, is priceless.
And this is why I hate the word respect. Because I often have a lot of respect for people, until they tell me I need to show them more respect. Because telling someone they need to respect you is saying your life experiences is not as important as my life experience. It is saying that now we have disagreed on something and I have to make you feel wrong because I live differently.
Now there are many good ways to use the word respect and I acknowledge its diversity, while hating it. This little blog is not about those flighty uses, but its deepest heart.
I recently used the word respect in the way I hate most. I burned as it came out of my mouth a reached my own ears. I complained to my husband that a mutual friend didn’t respect me. Gah, nooo, why? But once it was out, I could feel the truth of it. And in many ways acknowledging that fact helped me understand why this person keeps being so mean to me.
And more than that it made me analyze my other friendships. British, American, friendly, argumentative, superficial, overly attached and more. I have all these people in my life. I don’t think I have brought up the word respect once with any of them. Because it is something easily assumed and taken for granted.
I wish I had a better relationship with the word respect. Because it is also a powerful word that can cause so much good. Due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others. Take a moment to think about that.
Today, my goal is to marvel at the shared respect between the friends I have in my life. I will probably never have a better relationship with the word itself but I can be more grateful for its positive role in the world around me.
